It Isn’t Just Me Anymore.

Solitude is comfort.
Sitting inside my heart, knowing it is just me to look out for,
has a level of safety, of solace,
of relief.
I know my requirements and tend to them endlessly.

But now there’s you.
you.
You have a space carved out inside my heart,
with flashes of your strong hands and soft eyes,
every squeal of joy,
the tightness in my cheeks,
our supple hearts fleshed as one.

But it’s not just me anymore.

Many years of solitude have made rusted the spaces in my heart meant for another.
I am habitually engulfed in a sense of seclusion.
And for a moment I believe again that it is just me,
as it always has been.

And then you press against my hearts’ walls,
your presence juiced into my veins,
coating every corner,
and I remember you are here.
you.
In all your gentle glory,
inside my head and by my side and in my heart,
enveloping me.

It isn’t just me anymore.
And what an honour it is that it’s you.

You.

Don’t Tell Me You Always Knew.

The idea
of men,
of manhood,
the way it tasted in my mouth,
gagging
on my pitiful fortuned future,
one where a man
with a hairy chest and no room in it for me,
was what to desire,
so I learned to choke back my own,
believing a life without love,
a throat full of thirst,
was my white flag. 

So don’t tell me you always knew,
because for a long time I didn’t. 
I held in my mouth the dripping inkling
that i was meant for a woman all along. 
But the delectable nectar,
the joyous certainty, 
was far too sweet to spit out. 

Women

I love women who are hard, who are calloused, whose fingertips are yellowed from cigarettes, who never divulges into their vulnerabilities until they give you little conversational snippets that you don’t dare pry into, who are aggresively maternal regardless of if they have children or not, who are rough and tactile and smart. 

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