We’re a forever oriented species. We think that if something can stand the test of time (which is an oxymoron considering time is indefinite), then it means something, it’s worthy of our attention. Relationships, jobs, happiness-the closer we aim to “forever,” the more it holds significance. We are obsessed with endings in this weird, meta way, in that if an ending happens, it means we Failed At The Thing, but if there is no ending at all, then it’s a success. So if something just trails on until the sun collapses in on itself and the universe’s consciousness shrivels up, that’s the marker of triumph?
An ending is not an omen. It actually doesn’t even hold the binary of good and bad within itself; an ending is by definition neutral. I am always moved by the saying “all is well that ends well,” because it highlights the idea that it isn’t the ending we should fixate on, but everything that happens before it. If you truly loved someone with all the vulnerability and heart you could muster, and it ended, it doesn’t automatically curdle the entire relationship. If you proved yourself time and time again in your workplace and still found reasons to quit, it doesn’t mean that part of your resume needs to be burned. In your happiest moments, if you truly embodied the feeling and enwrapped yourself in every molecule of joy, it doesn’t make the lulls in your happiness proof you never had it in the first place.
An end is change, and truthfully, I don’t think we’re forever oriented-i think we’re change resistant. Something starts and we’re so enamoured with the newness of it all that we hope and pray its trajectory never changes. New experiences are juicy and good for the brain. An ending must mean all this potent neural carving must come to a screeching halt, right?
An ending is nothing more than a new experience flipped over. If you can’t let things end, all that luscious work your brain does during the newness will crack and dry into resentment. It is imperative we let endings take their natural course in our lifetimes, because that is the ebb and flow of the universe itself. Things begin and end in complete neutrality-why do we think our life experiences are any different?